What I’ve learnt from 10 years of solo travelling
I’m Rachel, and I’ve been solo travelling for around 10 years now. I’ve been to 45 countries, many of which have been solo trips or joining group tours, and some have been with friends and family. Solo travelling has its good parts and bad parts. Luckily for me, the good parts completely outweigh the negatives.
When all of your photos are selfies because you're always on your own.
Solo in Singapore, February 2024.
Flexibility
When you travel solo, you have complete freedom to decide when and where you want to go. You can choose to travel to places that you really want to see and don’t have to wait for anyone’s approval. I wouldn’t have travelled to half of the places I’ve been to if I had waited for others. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a huge number of friends who are desperate to visit places like Kazakhstan or Serbia. So I didn’t wait and have no regrets at all.
Once you’re at your destination, this flexibility becomes even more of a dream. You are in one of your dream destinations and you don’t need to coordinate with anyone. You can eat what you want, when you want, and visit what you want when you want. I’d bet that we’ve all been on one of those group trips where it was hard to please everybody and someone (perhaps you) ended up not doing what they wanted for the sake of the needs of the group. When you solo travel, you only have to think about your own needs.
Connections
I strongly believe that when you travel alone, you’re more likely to make better connections with others. You make a much bigger effort to talk to people and get to know them than when you’re travelling with others. I wouldn’t change the people I’ve met along my travels for anything. Some are “friends” for the trip, people to go out with for dinner or for a day trip and you tend not to speak again. Others become a bigger part of your life than you imagined.
You tend to meet more like-minded people conversing with other solo travellers. They understand what it’s like to travel the world on your own – the ups and the downs. When you can’t find people who want to head to the same destinations as you, go there anyway and you will find people who have the same travel interests as you.
In my daily life, I’m usually “the one who likes to travel”. On my trips, I’ve met solo travellers who put my 45 countries to shame and have been to some incredible places. This is great for your future travel inspiration or to get some advice! You will hear some incredible stories if you make the effort to talk with other travellers so don’t miss out just because you’re travelling with someone else.
Shaping your identity
It’s very cliché to talk about how travel and solo travel “change” you, but some clichés are spoken about for a reason. Travelling solo teaches you to be independent, make important decisions, keep yourself safe, get yourself out of any difficult situations and so much more. You learn to be more confident, talk with others, manage your travel expenses, and organise A LOT of things. All of these are valuable life skills that can help you feel independent and strong in your day-to-day life.
Of course, solo travel isn’t all roses. The way we portray things in our stories and social media can make it seem like the dream, but there are some things that can get to you. Solo travel is not for everyone. As I said, for me, the positives make the negatives worth tolerating, but for someone else, the negatives might be too much and put them off.
Isolation
I talked about how solo travel can help you become more confident and allow you to throw yourself into making friends. While I have generally found this to be the case when I travel, it doesn’t always happen like this. Sometimes, you’re in a place where you don’t connect with people. Sometimes, you don’t feel like socialising and end up isolating yourself for several days. Most importantly, not everyone wants to socialise and is built to throw themselves into making conversation with strangers. Solo travelling can be a true test of your ability to spend time with yourself, and how easily you find it to strike up a conversation with people you’ve never met before on a daily basis.
Expense
Solo travellers bear the brunt of the costs. This can make it more difficult to travel as much as you’d like or do the activities you want to do. One major cost is accommodation. You pay the same for a double room or an apartment for one or two people. If you visit a country that has lower accommodation costs then great. But what happens when you want to spend a week in the States?
Another cost where you pay more as a solo traveller is for tours. There’s no worse feeling when you see that a tour costs 40 euros a person, but then adding one person makes it go up to 80 euros. A lot of tour companies only run a tour if there are at least two people, meaning you have to pay twice if you want it to go ahead or wait and see if someone else joins. This can be frustrating and hard to plan your week.
Lack of wanting to travel with others
This is something that I’ve noticed has affected me during the last few years. I no longer travel as well with others as I used to. I’ve become much more accustomed to making my own decisions and not waiting around for others to get ready or decide what they want to do with the day. Don’t get me wrong, there are people I enjoy travelling with and have had successful trips with. However, the idea of the “group trip” I would have enjoyed in my twenties no longer appeals to me. Sometimes I have to remind myself take a very relaxed approach if I travel with others so that things go smoothly – this is easier if we visit somewhere I’ve been before!
Eating out alone
It took me a long time to be comfortable eating in a restaurant alone. This is where your “solo-ness” is the most exposed. It can cost you more if you’re not sharing a meal, and there are some restaurants that won’t even entertain the idea of seating a solo traveller.
In time, you learn that other diners don’t really care if you’re on your own; they’re too busy eating! You learn to get on with things and enjoy your own food. If you feel self-conscious, you can always take a book with you to distract yourself.
Safety
While travelling solo isn’t generally dangerous if you follow the basic precautions, as a solo traveller, and especially as a female solo traveller, you probably think about safety more than other people travelling in groups. Walking home at night on your own, making sure your hotel door locks or dealing with unwanted attention are all things that you have to manage on your own. Of course, safety is still an issue for any traveller, whether alone or in a group, but having other people to help or walk home with makes a big difference. There are also some countries I simply don’t feel comfortable navigating on my own due to safety, lack of infrastructure or language barriers.
Judgement/ concern
If I had a euro for every time someone asked me why I was going on my own, I’d have a lot more money for trips! The stigma of solo female travel is slowly dying out and it’s becoming more common to see a woman travelling on her own. However, there are always people who simply “just don’t get it” or countries where it’s not the norm to see women travelling alone. This can become very boring – justifying your actions and explaining over and over that you aren’t in any danger.
It can be really nerve-wracking to take the first step on your own and travel. If you’re unsure about whether it’s the right decision for you, take it easy and start with a weekend. It can even be in your own country. Don’t go anywhere too far away or where the culture is very different. Start slow! Choosing somewhere that speaks your language or generally speaks English well is a good start to eliminate any language issues or fears. City breaks are ideal as there are more amenities and good transport systems to help you navigate somewhere alone.
The main factor of solo travelling is that you don’t have to wait for anyone to be able to go and explore the world. You can just go and do it and live your life the way you want to be able to do it. No one ever looks back on their life and wishes they travelled less – this is the motto to live by!